Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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