the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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