We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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