Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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