do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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