I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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