Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize