Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
