I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far