she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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