Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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