**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
be right there i have to get my cape
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
