Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he laminated a picture of his dick.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL