There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter