I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
