Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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