The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
vagina is talking i cant
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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