I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
