The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize