i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize