glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
