i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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