we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
