Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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