I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I cannot find my penis.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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