I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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