After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
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Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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