i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize