Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize