Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something