You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
