Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize