k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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