last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
