They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
