Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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