I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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