I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
