My brain says no but my pants say off.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
