He felt like a one man threesome
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize