i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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