I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
