we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize