Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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