remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
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What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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