birth control should be required to get into college
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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