I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
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I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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