Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
