Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
