U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize