How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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