So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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